Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Rocking the Passive Voice XV

Okay kids, it's time to rock the passive voice:
Dear Applicant,

We have now filled the position that you applied for in our department. We want to thank you for sending us your materials and wish you the best in your future career.

[blah blah blah]
Professor and Chair

Of course, there's no actual passive voice here, but don't let that fool you. This PFO goes Beyond the Passive Voice. It's so fucking passive is doesn't even say I'm being rejected. Mining that little nugget of information is left as an exercise to the reader. I'd say they should have the balls to tell it to my face, but they don't even need that, for fuck's sake. All they need is the balls to tell it to me in a fucking e-mail.

Also, just because you capitalize the "a" in "Applicant," that doesn't make it a name, much less my name. If you want me to really feel your "best wishes" in my future career? You might want to get your secretary to figure out how to do a fucking mail merge.

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