I just sent another e-mail to the journal that's been sitting on one of my papers. They've had it for eight months. The last e-mail I sent asking for information? I got no response. I'll have to see what happens this time. Maybe I'll get lucky, and they'll acknowledge I exist.
I'm pretty frustrated at how long this is taking. When I sent the paper off last November, I knew there was a good chance I wouldn't be able to say the paper was forthcoming even in a year's time. If it got rejected, I'd have to start all over, revising it and sending it somewhere else. But I figured even if the decision was revise and resubmit, I'd at least have a shot of having it on my CV for this coming year's job market. But now there's no time for that either. So now, if I want the paper on my CV this fall, I need them to accept it outright.
The odds of this paper being on my CV in time for the job market are getting longer and longer.
Update: I just got an autoreply saying it might be "up to two weeks" before I get a real reply. I got the same autoreply to my last e-mail. That was five weeks ago.