More Than Words is All You Have to Do to Make it Real

Alright, PJMB friend Z calls me out in an e-mail: "So lay some of those mad abstracts on me!" And yeah, looking at the two sentence abstract I've got on my CV, both of those sentences are way, way too long. I feel like the real problem are the noun phrases. There's a couple that would have outlasted Mao on the Long March. Gonna have to work on that.