How'd You Get You So Much Money, Who You Trying to Impress?

A while back I mentioned how stupid I think fancy resume paper is. Who's dumb enough to get fooled by nice paper into thinking you're a good candidate? I mean, I sort of expect this sort of bullshit in the private sector. (Middle-managers are idiots after all.) But in academia? Who's going to look at the linen paper your CV's printed on say, "Damn, I bet this guy's an awesome epistemologist"? That would be idiotic, right?

Right. But of course, for some people idiocy's no reason to say no. Check out this guy's advice on how to put together an application package:

1. Make sure your name is on each page of anything you send. Easy enough to do with Word these days.

2. On fabulous white linen resume paper, I print all primary documents and staple anything with 2+ pages.

3. Compilation of packet:

a. Right side: originals
b. Left side: copies of originals on plain paper, with a cover page on that side with the title "Materials for Committee Photocopying" (seriously)

Okay, point 1 is good sense. But then in point 2, we get the white linen resume paper. Not just any white linen resume paper, mind you, but fabulous white linen resume paper. This is the sort of stupid that makes you wonder how a person remembers to breath. Why, you ask? Because, as we find out in point 3, as fab. as the white linen resume paper might be, the search committee's never going to see it. The committee just looks at photocopies. So why the fuck are all those nice originals there in the first place? Because you're not already spending enough of postage?