Friday, May 4, 2007

I Hope I Die Before I Get Old

Alright, after last night's celebratory binge of pizza and beer, we're back to our regularly scheduled programing. If you missed the first two installments of the teaching portfolio saga, they're here and here.

Where were we? Old World Septagenarian had assured me and my office mates that teaching philosophies probably weren't strictly necessary. Well, we learned otherwise when we got our hands on the year's first issue of the JFP a couple of weeks after that first placement meeting. Many, many ads called specifically for teaching philosophies. Since apparently me and office mates are too fucking stupid to learn simple lessons after bad experiences, we decided to bring this little hitch up with Old-World Septagenarian and Evil Columbo at the next placement meeting. It didn't go well.

Evil Columbo laughed, made jokes at our expense, and spilled food on himself, which he does pretty much whenever he eats, because he's a disgusting, disgusting human being. Old World Septagenarian's response was less revolting to look at, but no less useless. He just told us again to go talk to the department secretary about what she sends out. Clearly he hadn't bothered to find this out after the last meeting and he still had no real idea what teaching portfolios or teaching philosophies were.

As I'd figured, the secretary didn't send out anything like a teaching philosophy. But, I thought to myself, I can solve this problem. If--if--I can figure out what the fuck a teaching philosophy is, I can write one. And then, I'll just give it to the sectretary and she can slip it into the package of other crap she sends out. That'll work, right?

Wrong. Because the secretary refused to send anything out unless its inclusion in the teaching portfolio was cleared by the Old World Septagenarian. For his part, he kept insisting the secretary took care of this stuff, and so we shouldn't be asking him about it.

Let me pull the lens back here. Old World Septagenarian was telling me and my office mates that it wasn't his job to give us any advice about producing a required piece of our application packages. But he was the placement director. It was no one else's job but his.

Next time: From whence my helps comes.

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