Wednesday, March 7, 2007

Little Orange Light on the Dashboard

I woke up this morning to find an e-mail waiting for me from an editor. She was reminding me that I owe her an essay. It's true, I do. She was too tactful to mention this, but I've owed it to her for a few weeks now. I have no excuse for not having it done. It's about fun stuff, stuff I really like writing about, and it's going to be a much needed non-dissertation-related publication on my CV.

But holy fuck, I have no motivation. I haven't had any since I found out I wasn't getting any campus interviews. The week I found out about the two schools I actually gave a fuck about, I sat around, read blogs, and watched DVDs for days. Even now, almost two months later, if I can start work before 11:00am, that's a good day. An acquaintance with some clinical psych training tells me this is a textbook case of how to suck motivation: set up a series of hoops for a person to jump through, make her jump through them, and then give her nothing for her effort. No reward. No nothing. Nothing to show for months of work.

So. I need to write this paper.

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