Nominations are now open for the worst job ads of the 2008-2009 hiring cycle. The awards are named after the famous ad from Marist College in JFP 176, which to my mind at least, will probably go down as the worst JFP ad of Our Time:
"*28.,*29.,*30.,*31.,*32.,*33.,*34.,*35.,*36.,*37. MARIST COLLEGE, Poughkeepsie, NY. The Department of Philosophy and Religious Studies at Marist College invites applications for adjunct positions teaching Introduction to Philosophy, Ethics, or World Views and Values starting in the fall of 2007 or the spring of 2008. Adjuncts usually teach no more than one or two courses per semester. MA in philosophy required, Ph.D. desirable. Teaching experience desirable. Applications considered immediately. Please submit a CV and letter of interest to: Chair, Department of Philosophy and Religious Studies, Marist College, 3399 North Road, FN 221, Poughkeepsie, NY 12601. (SW07) (176)"
(A condemnation of this ad, along with a completely inadequate response, presumably from someone at Marist, can be found here: http://leiterreports.typepad.
The question is, what job ads from this year deserve wider recognition and ridicule? Here are the categories:
(1) Most utter contempt for human life and well-being
(2) Most bizarre requirements for application materials
(3) Most outrageous
(4) Most
Thanks again for your help, PJMB community!
--Mister Philosophyhead
60 comments:
"Most depressing waste of job slots..."
We've all looked at the final count to gauge the number of positions available. But some of these slots are unlikely to filled by philosophers.
This year's winner:
Princeton, commanding a whopping 17 precious slots to fellowships (attractive, I'm sure) that are available for researchers of *any disciple*. The expected number of these slots that will go to philosophers on the job market is likely significantly less than one. So right there, 16 or 17 expected jobs vanish.
This one just does not make sense. George Mason is easily one of the most conservative, William F. Buckley-ish campuses I have ever been on. The Center for the Study of Public Choice is a good example of the kind of conservative thinking that goes on there. While I do not know much about the profile of the Philosophy Dept., I cannot imagine someone who works on critical race theory or African Philosophy being happy teaching at this bastion of conservatism. I mean, all of the dorm halls are named after famous old dead white men.
379., *380. GEORGE MASON UNIVERSITY, FAIRFAX, VA. The Department of Philosophy at George Mason University invites applications for a tenure-track position for an assistant professor. AOS: Critical race theory or Africana philosophy. For those who can demonstrate strong competence in critical race theory or Africana philosophy, as evidenced by research and/or teaching, we will consider candidates with some other area of specialization. Teaching load 2-2. The successful applicant will be expected to contribute to undergraduate and graduate programs in the Philosophy department as well as to George Mason’s undergraduate program in African-American Studies and the doctoral program in Cultural Studies. Applicants must have, or be close to completion of, a Ph.D. in Philosophy. Candidates should apply online for position F8806Z at http://jobs.gmu.edu. Candidates should also send a letter of application with CV, writing sample, and three letters of recommendation to: Critical Race Theory Search, Prof. Ted Kinnaman, Chair, Department of Philosophy, George Mason University, 4400 University Dr., MS 3F1, Fairfax, VA 22030. The department will begin reviewing applications on Nov. 1, 2008 and continue until the position is filled. (179W), posted 10/10/08.
In the "Most Useless Information" category, any ad that gives the course-load but doesn't specify whether it is per semester or per year. E.g. from Saint Vincent College's ad (#104): "The normal teaching load is four courses (typically including the Department's introductory course) and some senior thesis supervision." Thanks for nothing!
Also nominated in the same category, any ad that doesn't give the course-load information. Totally useless!
I disagree with you, 11:34. Ads that don't give specific course-load information are not totally useless. It's like when you tell a girl you love her and she doesn't say anything back. They're not telling you something you wouldn't want to hear anyway.
I'm all for ridicule, but let's also add some kudos, even if they're masking frustration. So here's a nominee for "Most Honest Job Posting" (from Bucknell):
The Philosophy Department seeks applicants for an entry-level tenure-track position at the assistant professor level. Qualified applicants will have no more than four years of full-time post-doctoral teaching experience at the time of appointment.
It sucks that I'm too old in the tooth to apply, because I'd love to move to Lewisburg, but if this is their rule and they're sticking to it, I'm glad they come out and admit it rather than wasting my time and theirs.
All credit is due to the brilliant "Philosophers Anonymous" blog for pointing out this one. Philosophical psychology--But not cognitive science!
115. EMORY UNIVERSITY, ATLANTA, GA. Professor, beginning Fall 2009. Four courses/year, beginning undergraduate to graduate level. Usual advising, committee, and other non-teaching duties, with some department-level administrative experience preferred. Ph.D required. AOS: Philosophical Psychology, with a focus on the nature of the self and human nature (and not on cognitive science). Candidates should have a demonstrated ability to work in, and across, multiple philosophical traditions, and to connect that work to other disciplines.
As someone not in the know, can you explain what's wrong with that Marist ad?
I don't have the JFP handy, but the ad from Hobart and Smith or whatever it is called, up there in (beautiful) boony land: They appear to have been trying to fill this job for two or three years. wtf?
I'm also bemused by the number of jobs from last year that are open again. For instance, why is Lafayette College hiring again in philosophy of mind? My guess is that it's the same job as last year, and they somehow fucked it up (aiming too high?).
William and Mary appear to be recovering from their well-advertised implosion.
I nominate 159 for implausible combination of AOS and AOC. And 219 is just asking for too much (in return, no doubt, for too little).
Isn't the Bucknell thing motivated by the need for the appointment to be at the rank of assistant professor (not yet tenured), and some internal rule (very common) that one has to come up for tenure within 4-5 years of full-time service?
2:54: If you VAP for a couple of years, that doesn't guarantee that you'll be able to cut time off the tenure clock when you get a TT job. Usually the clock starts in your first year at the TT job, though you can sometimes negotiate a shorter clock based on prior work experience. No, I think they're one of the many schools that figure if someone else hasn't tenured you, then you don't deserve it (refuse to do their own due diligence, in other words). Hateful laziness, but at least they're honest about it.
How about the No Frat Boy Left Behind award?
Chicago State asks for "evidence is required of both research and teaching performance (for teaching we would like, if possible, quantitative evaluations from students and comparisons with departmental or other mean scores)." It doesn't matter how good a teacher you are, you have to be better than the average faculty at your previous school or department.
@ 1:50 -- The Marist ad is for adjuncts who would teach "no more than one or two courses per semester".
That's pathetic, in case you're "not in the know".
Anon 1:50, think of the Marist job this way. Say they pay 4,000 per class (which is a decent rate). They are suggesting you might get one course per semester, so you are being asked to move to Poughkeepsie, NY and then live on perhaps as little as $8,000 per year.
If you're lucky, you might make as much as $16,000!
And on top of that, you are still looking for a new job, and all you have on your resume for the latest year is Marist College...
"I mean, all of the dorm halls are named after famous old dead white men."
Yeh, I definitely wouldn't want to teach _there_. Poor fool who takes this job...How dare a Buckley-esque conservative school attempt to hire someone in Africana philosophy!?! What are they thinking? After all, no self-respecting studier of such topics would be "comfortable" there! How DARE they!?!
Are you a moron?
Since when does phil psych necessarily have to involve cog sci? Anybody working in these areas can more or less figure out what sort of candidate they are trying to exclude and what sort of candidate they are trying to encourage with this ad. It seems helpful rather than harmful to not encourage the extra hundred applications from the cog sci set just to send back automatic pfos in January.
4:37 -- Asking for something to compare the numbers to doesn't seem an unreasonable request (to me, anyway). Isn't the limited extent to which quantitative student surveys of teaching effectiveness/quality are helpful enhanced by the comparison? By analogy: knowing that a baseball player bats .300 doesn't tell me as much as knowing that s/he bats .300 while the league average is .250 (or .350)...
I'm not totally sold on how allegedly outrageous the Marist ad is.
Sure the jobs suck, but there are plenty of equally sucky jobs, although perhaps not quite so many in one department. (although note that Marist has no philosophy grad students, so has to go without the usual source of cheap labour)
The only really noteworthy thing is that they bothered to advertise in the JFP. They'd probably have better luck putting up signs at the mall.
The Marist ad would be outrageous if they were potentially ruining one person's life by getting them to travel to Poughkeepsie for a year for a salary of what looks to be between 10,000 and 16,000. What makes it the Worst JFP Ad of Our Time is that they were potentially ruining ten people's lives. Someone wrote that ad and either thought "gee, I am going to make a lot of people miserable here, and I just don't fucking care." Or else, what's worse, the writer of that ad didn't think about it at all!
You say that there are plenty of "equally sucky" jobs. Perhaps there are. But that's what these awards are for! We get these bastards out in the open and expose them to the ridicule they deserve, and maybe then they will think twice--or maybe not, in which case they are at least being publicly exposed for the assholes that they are.
--Mister Philosophyhead
8:33, the No Frat Boy Left Behind award goes to Chicago State because of their emphasis on numbers. You're right that context helps interpret the numbers, but it's not useful context to anyone other than the candidate's current school. Let's say I'm applying from college X, and everyone here sucks at teaching. What does it tell Chicago State if my scores are way above average here? I don't suck as much as my peers - but it says nothing about either 1) how good my teaching is (which is really the key) or 2) how I'd compare against people at Chicago State (which they might care about, though strictly speaking it's not very useful information). Or let's say you come from school Y, where most people are stellar; but you're below average. Are you a better teacher than me? There's no way to tell. But that's what Chicago State needs to do: compare candidates from schools X and Y.
I think the best way to interpret quantitative scores is to look at them in parallel with written comments: then you get an idea of why students at any given school give the ratings they do. Maybe high ratings at school M indicate an easy teacher, at school N they indicate a good lecturer, at school P they indicate a hard grader who motivates students.
I think the Marist job ad is rightly ridiculed for several reasons. First, the general assumption of the JFP--at least for me--was that it is for JOBS in philosophy, not course-by-course adjunct work. Otherwise, all the community colleges in the US would be advertising there. If you want to define down "JOB" so as to include this sort of work, so be it, but I don't think it's the assumption of most people looking at this thing. Second, we're all aware that this sort of hiring goes on all the time, that the adjunct instructors make up a frighteningly large segment of the academic workforce, but the Marist ad is transparent and unabashed in their invitation. Along with this is the sheer insanity of the number of slots: if you think you may THAT many people to teach one or two classes each, it sure as hell LOOKS like you need to hire a couple TT positions instead. Of course, we know the answer: adjuncts are cheaper and more easily let go, but don't be so damn obvious about it. You invite our ridicule by doing so.
AHMEN Mr. Philosophyhead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Any JFP job which doesn't add the proviso, 'the indolent, petulant and merely averagely talented are especially encouraged to apply' is a bad ad.
Presumably, the reason the Marist ad sought 10 adjuncts, who each could teach no more than 4 classes per year, rather than 5 or fewer adjuncts teaching 4-4, is that adjuncts teaching 4-4 would be considered full-time staff, and would have to be given benefits. To me, what seems so awful about the Marist ad is that the powers that be (presumably in admin and not in the phil dept) need a bunch of intro classes taught but don't want to pay a fair price for it (which would at a minimum involve a living wage and benefits). They themselves recognize that part of a fair compensation package for full time work is benefits; so they try to get around their own policy by not hiring any full time adjuncts. So they are not only exploitative, but hypocritical to boot.
In order to make a decent living as an adjunct, you have to teach lots and lots of courses, not just two. Furthermore, Marist apparently wanted something like 20 of their department's courses per semester to be taught by adjuncts. That's gotta be almost all their courses. That ad is seriously totally fucked up.
How about JFP #27, Frankin W Olin College of Engineering. They want you use your cover letter to write a detailed essay containing the following information: a description of at least two specific courses you'd like to teach there; an explanation of how you incorporate writing instruction in your classes; and include a detailed discussion of how you would appeal to and excite engineering students who do not give two shits about philosophy. But at least it's near the Massachusetts Route 128 Technology Sector.
Response from the President of Marist College:
"The best affirmation of who we are and what we do comes from our current students and our alumni [read: not our full-time faculty and definitely not our exploited adjuncts]. There is a strong sense of community on the Marist campus, a feeling that was fostered from our early years by our founders, the Marist Brothers [read: those wonderful monks who were the first adjuncts to slave away teaching undergrad theology students]. Small classes mean you get to know your professors and they get to know you [read: even though they do not want to know you given how disgruntled they are with their low pay and lack of health benefits]. You're not a student ID number; you're a person [potential student response: really? thanks for reminding me], learning from faculty who are the best minds and practitioners in their fields [read: at least in their own minds]. You will make lifelong friends at Marist and have fun while you learn."
anon@4.23:
While you are correct about most institutions starting the tenure clock upon arrival, this in fact is not always the case. At some schools, faculty associations have arranged policy such that any year you have taught with the title Assistant Professor counts as a year towards tenure. I actually think that this policy, while well intentioned, disadvantages candidates who have changed jobs -- there is no guarantee that the tenure standards they were working towards are the same as that of the new institution. I suspect the original interpretation of the Bucknell ad is correct.
The Marist ad(s) don't strike me as being particularly ridiculous or worthy of ridicule. They are merely out of place. Here is what I think may be the problem.
1. I imagine that for the most part, Marist got most of its adjuncting needs met by grad students from nearby programs (CUNY, SUNY branches, Rutgers, NYU, Columbia, and so on). In the last 5 years or so, graduate fellowships have almost doubled ($30,000 in some places), and I assume that Marist adjunct pay has not kept pace with this. So while 2-3 grand per class five years ago would have made any grad student salivate, 4 grand now doesn't have much allure for busy grad students already making decent money. So Marist, instead of sending out emails to fish for local grad students, decided to advertise nationally. I doubt very much they expected to have some poor schmoe trek out from Calli to adjunct two classes at Marist.
Of course, it stinks that Marist College demands that all sorts of philosophy classes get taught but then won't pony up the bill for permanent faculty, but why let that reflect poorly on the Marist philosophy dept.? They seem like an okay bunch that found themselves in a labor bind. Big fucking deal. You don't need the Marist ad to remind you how awful things are.
Anon 6:14,
I certainly didn't take the ad to say anything about the Marist philosophy department. It is about the Marist administration, and I think many of the commenters here have seen the distinction as well. What deserves ridicule is that they thought they could keep their costs low without using grad students.
6:14: I'm guessing that you planned to think of several reasons why the Marist ad wasn't ridiculous, but then you only could come up with "1", and since even this explanation didn't make any sense to you when you reread it (they advertised nationally, yet didn't expect applicants from across the nation), you just decided to stop your much longer list of things there? Good for you! Next time though go one step further and delete the whole comment, you gaping idiot.
--Mister Philosophyhead
I don't know that Marist's hope to keep costs low sans grad students is "ridiculous". Hoping for ten exploitable adjuncts might be a little wishful thinking outside of a major city (like Boston, NY, DC, etc), but the fact is that they could probably get quite a few. Really, what the administration's hope was is execrable. Get your shit together and make space for another tenure line or two.
I waffle a little on what I think about the dept, since I think it would take more information to know. If they are comfortably accepting the administration's decision to exploit adjuncts, I think they could deserve some share of the blame. If their hands are tied, or they're trying to do something to work towards a tenure line (or at least make their adjuncts' lives more bearable), then they obviously don't bear any of the fault.
Wow, Mister, that was just plain mean. Don't hate the player, hate the game. If the intellectual gulf between you and 6:14 is so vast that he/she warrants being called a "gaping idiot" then you, my friend, needn't worry about the job market at all this year; you have it made (as long as you don't refer to members of the hiring committee as "idiots").
In the end, however, I suspect you are just a class A jerk who come 2009 most likely will be doling out philosophy jerk-style to hordes of unfortunate Marist undergrads. Jackass.
Anon 6:14
Do tell us where these graduate fellowships are that pay $30,000 a year, because where I'm at I just got a choice fellowship that awards me $2500 more than the generic amount, which is $15,500.
I think we have a new winner with jobs *509-*518:
*509-*518. HARVARD UNIVERSITY, CAMBRIDGE, MA. The Harvard College Writing Program, formerly called the Expository Writing Program, hires several preceptors each year from a variety of disciplines, including philosophy. Each preceptor develops a writing course on an academic topic, which focuses on teaching academic argument. Each preceptor teaches two sections per semester of fifteen students per section. Salary and benefits are competitive. Contracts are for one year, renewable for five years...
That's TEN jobs, all subject to funding, none guaranteed to philosophers, or even in the philosophy department... and I can't even imagine what it means for their salary and benefits to be competitive in a case like this. Gad!
Which graduate programs offer $30,000 fellowships?
Anon @ 7:37 10/12 -- I'm in general agreement with you, though I don't think contextualizing the numerical data in that way is problematic; indeed, I've found it slightly helpful as a member of a search committee, but certainly not in any make-or-break way, which was what the original poster seemed to imply was the case. Given the way the information was requested ("if possible..."), the original inference seemed unwarranted.
Which grad programs offer $30,000?
Science grad programs.
To the anons asking about the $30k fellowships: I wasn't the original offerer of the datum, but I do know that NYU's package is $30k per year.
522-527., *528-*533. ADELPHI, MD. PHILOSOPHY ADJUNCT FACULTY Creative. Caring. Committed. Learn Why A Part-Time UMUC Adjunct Faculty Position Is Ideal For You! Keep Your Day Job. Share Your Expertise. Teach Online Or In-Person.
ugh...
My view is that adjunct ads are fine and good when in places like higheredjobs, but not in JFP!
My grad program is almost up to $20,000, in a "big city", and my impression is that is pretty good (or at least going rate). I have never heard of anything even closing in on $30,000, not even for the external sorts of fellowships one can sometimes win to avoid teaching duties.
When I started in a top 5 PGR school, I was pulling in less than 15 grand. When I left, the incoming folks were making at least mid twenties. And that was a few years ago.
About the $30,000 stipends--some schools that are up in the $24,000-26,000 range, but I haven't heard any higher.
And re: the Harvard Writing Program positions. The numbers aside, I don't think the program is that bad. I knew a fellow who had one of the positions and went on to a good TT job; he said it was assistant professor pay with a 2-2 load and class sizes were capped at some reasonable number.
I read on some admissions forums that NYU offered $30k this year. Take it for whatever it's worth.
1:35, as a search committee member, you give the charitable interpretation of "if possible ..." which is hermeneutically sound. But as a candidate, I'm sceptical. It might stand for "you almost certainly won't be a finalist unless ..." and I daresay that out of 10 search committees that compose such an ad, one or two (maybe more) will follow my interpretation. The problem is that, as a candidate, I know almost nothing about the search committee's real intentions, whereas they can know quite a bit about mine, depending on how many data points they ask for. And there's little way for me to know whether a given sentence (in my cover letter, teaching statement, research statement, etc.) will catch their attention or get me rejected outright. So I think as a candidate I have some justification to be not just defensive about the materials I get to write, but also sceptical about search committees' motivations.
A lot of grad students and recent PhDs have websites that serve to as advertisements. How wonderful if a search committee did the same: these are courses that standing profs love to teach, so you can't have any of them; this is what our true teaching needs are, for the next three years; this is how our school evaluates student evaluations of teaching, so we're trying to pick candidates who can game the system here; etc. Wouldn't that be a wonderful world? [Cue sappy music.]
anon 8:54
what they mean by "competitive salary" is near 50k (admittedly not a king's ransom in cambridge). what they mean by "competitive benefits" is full bennies, including dental. you teach two courses per semester. how does this even compete with the marist job? the program always has a few philosophers on staff. not the best job all things considered, and you better know how to teach writing if you apply, but not horrible either.
I love the new Adelphi ad.
"522-527., *528-*533. ADELPHI, MD. PHILOSOPHY ADJUNCT FACULTY Creative. Caring. Committed. Learn Why A Part-Time UMUC Adjunct Faculty Position Is Ideal For You! Keep Your Day Job. Share Your Expertise. Teach Online Or In-Person."
"Creative, Caring and Committed." What masterful use of alliteration. And the perfectly timed use of an exclamation point. It excites me. Clearly someone in their HR department is wasting their immesnse literary talent crafting these ads.
"I read on some admissions forums that NYU offered $30k this year."
And I'm sure that should go a long way in Greenwich Village. One might need to live in Queens *shudder*
"I have never heard of anything even closing in on $30,000, not even for the external sorts of fellowships one can sometimes win to avoid teaching duties."
The Javits fellowship can provide a stipend of up to $30K.
I forget which school this was. But someone claimed they were trying to hire someone with an AOS in history. But then went on to say they didn't want someone in ancient, modern, or 20th cent. continental.
That is kind of messed up. If you want a medievalist then say so. If you want someone who does 18th/19th cent. German phil then say so. If you want early analytic say so.
But please don't claim you want anyone in history, then say you don't want people from the 2 major areas of history.
321, Leeds University, is "particularly interested in applicants working in... Theoretical Philosophy (broadly construed)."
What area of philosophy is *not* "theoretical philosophy, broadly construed"?
Yes, the Leeds ad is by far one of the stupidest ads I've seen. If some dumb kook has a technical notion of "theoretical philosophy", then explain it. I can excuse bad writing from the British, but good lord. What kind of nonsense is this.
Thank you, Anon 9:32. Theoretical phil? Have you met our discipline? I know there has been a recent and excited push to empirical ethics, but that aside, I think we're the only field where the strong default is no fieldwork whatsoever.
Anon 9:32 -- Experimental Philosophy and applied ethics (business, bio, econ, medical, legal)
It's not that crazy an ad.
# 543. DOMINICAN UNIVERSITY and their call for "alternative epistemology." Great, I knew I would finally be recognized for my paper "Crystals, Acupuncture, and Justified True Belief"
How about the Notre Dame Liberal Studies ad, #145. They want you to write a special cover letter for them, explaining why you're qualified to teach in a "great books" program, and to go to their website and explain how you're qualified to teach at least one of the special, great-books-oriented courses there.
But then their website doesn't actually describe any of their courses, and the fall '08 schedule is a 404 error.
If you want me to do your stupid bullshit, Notre Dame, at least make sure your website is updated. For Christ's sake.
Re 'theoretical philosophy':
I don't think this is meant to distinguish experimental philosophy from all other kinds of philosophy. Rather the distinction is between 'theoretical' and 'practical' philosophy. Elsewhere someone said that it was a 'European' term, but here's one American department that uses it in that sense, too. To quote them: Practical philosophy = ethics, social and political philosophy, aesthetics, theoretical philosophy = philosophy of science and mathematics, metaphysics, epistemology.
One thing to keep in mind when you seem some weirdly-configured or oddly-described sets of AOSs/AOCs, is that although we are used to in these contexts of talking about "what a department wants" as if there is some unitary psychological entity referred to be "the department"... in fact, these listings are often the product of highly political negotiations between different members of the faculty with their different interests, and sometimes also with extra-departmental players as well. (If, e.g., the Dean wants something taught that the department isn't so excited about, they may try to find a way to get someone who does the _research_ that they care about, but will _teach_ what the Dean wants.)
One shouldn't read that necessarily as any sort of warning sign about the department in question -- it's just the way the game is played everywhere -- but it does mean that you shouldn't worry too much about how exactly you fit one of these weird descriptions. No one is likely to fit it too well, and the department is far from one mind on what exactly they want -- so you should err on the side of taking your chances with it.
Too all the people who are ignorant enough to have never heard of the (Aristotelian) division between theoretical and practical: I hope you do not get jobs.
I'd like to nominate the University of Pittsburgh for jobs *276-*282 in JFP 180W.
Apparently, rather than just running one ad for an open rank, AOS/AOC: open position, they've decided to run SEVEN different positions asking for philosophy of science and/or philosophy of physics and/or "rank open" but send apps to "senior appointments committee" and/or AOS open but preference for logic and send to logic search committee and/or AOS open but send to history search committee and/or assistant professor with AOS open.
Whew. Good thing they decided to give us such helpful information on what they're looking for in a candidate.
Last year Pittsburgh made six tenure track offers. This year they might make seven. Isn't that a good thing? And if they have different committees responsible for hiring in different areas, then it makes sense for them to ask candidates to send their material to the relevant committee.
Pittsburgh should win the award for the best use of multiple job slots.
Post a Comment