Wednesday, August 6, 2008

And that has made all the difference

Lately, there has been this choice looming heavy on my mind. So heavy, in fact, that I've been finding it hard to sleep at night and being whisked away to a special dream land in which tenure-track jobs are as abundant as lollipops on Lollipop Lane. The customary warm glass of milk and spoonful of peanut butter at 3 a.m. haven't been working their dormitive magic; I stay up watching infomercials about cookery devices, exercise machines, and combination stationary bicycles/rotisserie grills that can cook cornish hens in the same amount of time it takes to power-the-grill/pedal off the calories you'll take in from eating that same cornish hen.

These things don't help me in making my choice.

It's like I've come to two roads in a forest. One road being writing posts and drawing comics for the PJMB and thus placating the calls from the teeming masses on the comments board whining for more whining from Team PJMB so that they can call us out for whining when we should be writing dissertations. Let us call this the road more traveled (though people may dispute this particular labeling). The other road involves starting and finishing a new chapter, thus placating my advisor (or preparing for the market, or creating a syllabus). Let us call this the road less traveled.

Let's just say that this post should serve as fair warning that I'm about to get all Robert Frost up in this motherfucker.

--STBJD

31 comments:

Dissertator said...

I just finished a syllabus, and i have another to do. That's my way of avoiding finishing the dissertation. Oh yeah, that book i'm supposed to review is stting on my desk as well. Reviewing is another way i avoid working on the dissertation.

Since i don't want to be a mediocre piece of shit my whole life, work at Disney World, at a community college, Diddy, I suppose i should get my diss. done.

By the way, i can send you my syllabi and you can simply use those.

Lastly, i spend way too much time on my syllabi. It's ridiculous i know, but it's easier than doing my diss.

Anonymous said...

How about, dissertate by day, and instead of watching rotisserie stationary bike ads, post to the blog? and where are PGS and PGOAT, anyway?
(not to mention poor old Nth Year, who must have just been dropped by the wayside ages ago)

Anonymous said...

It is actually a good work technique to avoid work by doing other work. The key is that you must convince (delude?) yourself that doing something else is worse than writing the dissertation. Then you will procrastinate (not doing the worse thing) by writing the dissertation (the lesser of two evils). Good luck!

philo said...

Think about it this way -- in this economic climate, you won't be able to afford cable for long without a serious job. No more 3am infomercials.

So, maybe it's time to put down the drawing pad...

Anonymous said...

Why don't you get your dissertation finished and pass the torch to a new bumper crop of bright-eyed, bushy-tailed Ph.D. students?

Or harness the power of the so-called "Internet" and let outside folks write the initial blog post (after you properly screen them, of course).

Either way, you should probably attend to your work. As they say out here in the sticks, get 'er done, cowboy.

Anonymous said...

I have to say that 'Getting all Robert Frost up in this Motherfucker' may be the best phrase I've seen in years.

Anonymous said...

I'm about to get all Robert Frost up in this motherfucker.

You're not going to write poems, are you? Please, no poems.

nth Year said...

Good luck, STBJD. I hope that cutting back on PJMB helps with your writing and with your job market preparation.

Anonymous said...


You're not going to write poems, are you? Please, no poems.


"Philosophy Job Market: A Philosophy Blog. News and views about angst, the job market, procrastination, grad student culture...and a bit of poetry."

bob said...

Yea, there's no way you can compete with Maurice!

Anonymous said...

Poems by Maurice Dissertator.

Anonymous said...

Dear (atheist) God, no poetry.

There must be someone who is sufficiently close to the job market to have gripes, yet far enough not to be sacrificing future security in taking time to write blog posts?

Soxlosophy said...

I like infomercials.

They purport, at least, to provide information, cite the inadequacy of competitors and offer their own product as a better alternative to meet those same demands, while explicitly addressing the needs of the consumer.

in short, they give the appearance of blind review and honest evaluation, while really being self-promoting and inclusive.

which isn't remotely similar to anything i can think of.

Anonymous said...

The road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Anonymous said...

Maurice Leiter's poetry sucks.

Anonymous said...

Hell, not only does the poetry suck, but the fact that the most-read "professional" blog in philosophy is littered with incongruous poetry is an embarrassment to the entire profession.

Modernize, people, the other professions are laughing at us.

Anonymous said...

I agree with whoever it was that pointed out that it isn't even poetry. It is sentimental prose. And it sucks.

Anonymous said...

I assume Maurice is Brian's father (does he say that somewhere?), so I think it's sweet that he posts those on his blog. Whatever you think about the poetry (not my fav), he does produce a poem a week. People who are ragging on him, what do you produce every week (other than shit)?

I'm imagining this old retired guy who's really proud of his son, who's got a great job and lots of money, in academia no less, plus a popular blog and he gets to post his poetry there, which probably isn't publishable otherwise and wouldn't get any readership outside family otherwise. Isn't that nice?

Anonymous said...

Here is pretty lil' haiku for you lazy pieces of shit:

Wastrels do nothing
Except bitch and bitch some more
Get a Fucking job

Anonymous said...

Here's another haiku:

I have got a job
That doesn't change the fact that
Leiter's poems suck

Anonymous said...

i've always thought that maurice = brian.

Anonymous said...

New Topic: Can people share tips on keeping a modicum of neatness around the workspace when writing the dissertation? I literally have to leap over a hemispherical mound of books and papers when I want to go to the bathroom. I'm seriously afraid I'll soon be buried and suffocating.

Anonymous said...

Here's yet another haiku:

This blog was once good
But now it sucks donkey dick
Ah, swallow swallow.

Anonymous said...

As for neatness in the dissertation writing work space, I bought three large filing cabinets and made sure to do two things with all my sources: (i) put the citation in my electronic endnote library and (ii) file a physical copy in a folder with the author's name on it. This takes some discipline, but you will be glad when you get to the end and you need to compile your bibliography. I kept very few physical copies of previous chapter drafts. Once I received comments from my advisor and made the changes, I happily threw them out. Previous drafts were kept electronically in a drafts file. This clears a lot of space in your work area. I did this all in a tiny room in a small two bedroom apartment.

Anonymous said...

Can any of you tell us, please, whether you plan on leaving this once-great and interesting blog mainly dormant (forever), or when you think it might pick up? Please?

Anonymous said...

Compile your bibliography??? Are you fucking serious?!?!?!?!?!? Ever heard of Endnote?

Anonymous said...

wow, anon 8.10, you are more organized than i will probably ever be. so jealous.

do you use endnote (the program)? it makes my computer run slow and i hate formatting it correctly, but do you think it's worth the trouble?

Anonymous said...

Um, since this is anonymous, I feel somewhat comfortable saying I tried to use endnote once, (on a friend's computer), and I couldn't quite figure it out.

In case my technology skills don't quite make that clear, I'm an ethicist.

Does anyone know of any good resources that will teach one how to design a website? Keeping in mind my admitted comfort level with technology.

Anonymous said...

endnote sucks. But everyone should be writing in LaTex anyway, and bibtex rules.

jr tt said...

Anon 3:35,

Good resources for doing a web-site? Find a friend that knows how to do web-design and likes to show off. Buy him/her beer.

Anonymous said...

Hey dissertator you are not alone. I am trying to finish my dissertation also. I am procastinating big time. Everything else seems so much easier than finishing my work. Good luck (if there is such thing as luck).